


Is There Somewhere

by lostboy_jpg



Category: Gerard Way - Fandom, My Chemical Romance, thejackway
Genre: Artist Gerard Way, I cried while writing this, M/M, is there somewhere, kinda sad, thejackway - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 04:18:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8475037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostboy_jpg/pseuds/lostboy_jpg
Summary: "Cause I clutched your arms, like stairway railings" aka Jack loves someone and depends on them so completely, even when he knows the feelings won't be returned"And you clutched my brain , and eased my ailing" aka Gerard only calls Jack when he is too broken to function and he depends on Jack as well but will never admit it





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yo before we begin can I just mention the fact that I actually cried while writing this? That never happens but boi this had me s h o o k.

Jack made his way down the crowded streets of Brooklyn, heading with an exact location and cloudy intentions. The sun had set long ago, and the wet sidewalks were illuminated by all of the florescent lights emitted from shop windows.

The streets were surprisingly busy for it being one o'clock in the morning, but after all, it was the city that never sleeps. Well, almost.

Jack arrived at the all too familiar building, and walked straight through the lobby to the elevator. He pressed the up button and pulled out his phone.

_is there somewhere you can meet me?_

Jack sighed and bit his lip. He knew he shouldn't be here. He knew exactly how the night would go and he knew exactly how confused he would feel tomorrow. But Jack just needed to see him, at least once more.

The elevator stopped at the 11th floor. Jack got out and headed down the hallway to the left, pausing in front of room 93. 

He took a deep breath, and knocked.

"Jack thank god you're here." Gerard pulled him into the hotel room. Jack could tell just by looking at him that tonight was a bad night. Gerard's eyes were red and his face flushed. From drugs or maybe from crying, Jack wasn't sure which. Maybe both.

Jack only needed that one glance to know that tonight was a night when things got bad again. Of course it was. The bad nights are the only times Gerard called Jack anymore. But despite all of this, Jack couldn't be mad at him. After all, Jack decided himself to come over. Again.

"How are you doing?" Jack asked as Gerard led the way out to the balcony.

"I feel like shit. And probably look like it too." Gerard sat on the cold cement and lit a blunt, sticking it between his lips. Jack sat down next to him, pulling his knees to his chest.

"Nah you look good." Jack offered a small smile.

"Yeah. Right!" Gerard laughed, taking a long drag before offering it over to Jack.

Jack accepted. He always did. "You do look kinda shit man. What happened?" 

"More like what didn't happen." Gerard answered passively, accepting the blunt back from Jack and taking another hit.

"That bad huh?" Jack chewed on his bottom lip.

"I just want to feel nothing at all." Gerard smiled blissfully. "Cheers." he passed it back to Jack.

Jack inhaled, looking out at the city in front of him. Jack wanted to feel as little as possible, but for different reasons. He's learned with experience that the mornings after were easier that way.

~~~~

"C'mon Jack. You _have_ to dance with me." Gerard pleaded.

"No fucking way am I dancing with you." Jack laughed.

"Dance with me Jack!" Gerard pleaded dramatically, already dancing around the hotel room. This only caused Jack to laugh harder.

Gerard walked over to the edge of the bed where Jack was sitting and stood between his legs, leaning in so close their foreheads were touching.

Jack's pulse quickened as Gerard's lips grazed his own.

"Dance with me Jack."

Jack shoved Gerard away jokingly, trying to save face. "Get off me." he fell back onto the bed laughing.

Gerard collapsed next to him, and they turned to face each other. 

Without looking up, Gerard started absentmindedly tracing patterns into the skin on Jack's arm, eventually intertwining his fingers with Jack's.

Gerard looked up at Jack.

 

~~~~

"You know you're my muse now, right Jack?" Gerard flicked the butt of the joint off the balcony.

"What? No way." Jack brushed it off. His mind was already cloudy from the drugs, so Gerard's cryptic speaking didn't help Jack's comprehension.

"Yeah way. Listen." Gerard started playing an audio clip from his phone, and inched closer so they were sitting side by side, the phone between them.

The audio was a rough first draft of a song. Gerard's raw vocals taking the lead with very little music to back it.

Jack couldn't help but smile. The song was actually beautiful, and it seemed like Gerard was being genuine when he said he wrote it about Jack. 

Jack felt a new weight on his shoulder as Gerard rested his head there. Although he probably should have, he didn't ask him to stop or make some kind of joke about it.

"Do you like it?" Gerard asked in a small voice, pressing such a gentle kiss into the skin on Jack's neck that Jack wasn't sure if he was actually kissed or just willfully thinking. 

"Yeah. Of course I do." Jack answered with a smile. 

Jack could feel Gerard smile against his neck.

~~~~

Gerard looked from their intertwined fingers up at Jack. "Can I kiss you?"

Jack didn't trust himself to speak, so he nodded his head.

Gerard leaned in, and pressed his lips against Jack's, slowly at first, but the kiss quickly escalated.

Gerard sat up, fingers still intertwined with Jack's, and pulled Jack up with him. Jack straddled him, arms around his neck, and stopped to think only for a moment before diving back into the kiss.

"Wait, Jack." Gerard stopped, pulling away from the kiss.

"What's wrong?" Jack suddenly felt self conscious and very self aware. Maybe he crossed a line.

"I just... I don't want you to get the wrong idea." Gerard explained, his cheeks red. "Like I don't want you to think this means something."

Jack swallowed the lump in his throat. "No worries." and he leaned in to continue the kiss.

~~~~

"Why don't you ever call me?" Jack asked, turning away from the cityscape, but not trusting himself to look at Gerard.

"What do you mean?" Gerard was leaning back against his palms. Both of them were still way too sober to be having this conversation.

"I mean, you never call me." Jack repeated, clenching his teeth, fighting back tears.

"Of course I call you." Gerard laughed, as if Jack was being ridiculous by even bringing it up. Gerard took another long drag from the blunt.

Jack waited, trying to think of a response and also trying really heard to suppress the tears that were so close to spilling out.

"Jack I told you. I didn't want you getting any ideas. I told you from the beginning, and if you couldn't handle that then you should leave. Now Jack I'm not dealing with this shit okay?"

He always had a way of speaking that made Jack feel so immature and childish, as if he was the one that had done something wrong.

Jack took a deep breath and accepted the blunt that was being offered to him.

"I'm not saying you have to be in love with me or anything like that. I'm just saying it'd be nice to hear from you when your life isn't a complete wreck." Jack tried again, but the words still weren't coming out right.

"I'm sorry Jack. You're right. I probably should call more often. I know that makes me a terrible person and god forbid I actually have a part of my life that doesn't involve you." Gerard replied dryly, never looking at Jack as he spoke.

"No. You fucking stop." Jack clenched his teeth. The tears were definitely coming now. "You don't get to fucking do that!"

"Do what Jack?!" Gerard shouted, way too loud for three in the morning. "I don't get to have my own life? In case you haven't realized, I have a life that, big surprise, doesn't revolve around you! I have a wife! A career! A life Jack!"

"No." Jack swallowed, trying his hardest not to break down. "You can pretend all you want but you're not happy with your life. Isn't that the only reason why you call me?!"

"Jack listen to yourself, crying and carrying on. You sound ridiculous." Gerard dismissed.

"Right. I sound ridiculous." Jack scoffed, in utter disbelief that Gerard couldn't even consider how he felt.

A long moment passed before anyone said anything else.

"It's fine. Honestly. Just don't worry about it." Jack relented, running his fingers through his hair and blowing the air from his cheeks.

"Are you sure?" Gerard asked, eying Jack, unsure of whether or not this conversation was actually over.

"I'm sure." Jack gave him a small smile, drying the tears from his cheeks.

~~~~

They were both underneath the pristine white sheets, but Gerard was the only one asleep.

Jack ran his fingers soothingly through Gerard's hair, his head against Jack's chest.

Jack knew he'd hate himself tomorrow for coming out here. Although strangely enough he never regretted it when he was in his presence. 

Jack pressed a small kiss to the top of Gerard's head. Jack loved him, at least he thought he did. And he wasn't sure exactly why he always said yes, but he guessed he was hoping he'd be the answer to solving Gerard's problems.

Jack let his eyes close, begging the thoughts that were clouding his brain to pause, just for a moment.

 

~~~~

It was six in the morning and Gerard was still asleep in the bed. 

Jack pulled his black converse back on his feet and his jacket around his shoulders.

He hated leaving like this. So unresolved and yet completely absolute all at once. But it was for the best, for both of them. Neither liked to deal with the morning after, completely sober they would have to address the night before.

And if you acknowledge something, it makes it that much more real.


End file.
